A blog about heartbreak.

My Ex is engaged, to the woman he left me for a year ago. 

I literally shrugged my shoulders when I first found out. I was proud I wasn’t phased by the news; all the more confirmation I was so past that relationship and him.

Three days later, however, I found myself in the fetal position on the floor, bawling my eyes out - and the waterworks haven’t really stopped. I can say with all sincerity that it isn’t about him. I do not miss him, I do not wish to be married to him, I do not wish it were me. No no no, god, none of that! It’s about feeling utterly forgettable.

The Ex and I dated for six years and in a blink of an eye, he was with her. Just like that. They moved in together before I was even through my first pint of Ben & Jerry’s. I dated the guy for six years and I was replaced and forgotten in a (banana) split second. 

The realization of this is one of my biggest insecurities; that I am someone people can just walk away from. I am not the girl the guy chases. I am fairly confident I will never be referred to by anyone as “the one that got away.” No one has ever fought for me; they’ve just seemed to forgotten me.

Good lord, it is such the cliche to go on an emotional bender after hearing your ex is engaged. I’ll give myself the pass to be weepy for another day (it’s raining out anyways, what else do I have to do?). But then on Monday, I’m going to pull myself together and remind myself someone someday is going to make me forget I was ever, ever forgotten.