Cast & Characters
I use nicknames or other monikers in order to protect the identity of the dudes in my dating rolodex. Portland is a surprisingly small town and I am not here to embarrass or call out anyone!
All cast members are listed in the order of their appearance. If an * appears by their name, it means they are still reoccurring characters in my dating life. You can learn more about them in the Archives and by their moniker tags.
The Ex: We dated for 5+ years and, obviously, it didn’t work out. I met him in college and we had a pretty healthy relationship, even though two years of it was apart while I was in grad school. A week before we planned to move to Austin, Texas together, I was blindsided by an e-mail (yes, an e-mail!) breaking up with me. He told me we had lost our spark and he wanted to start over on his own in Texas. I was devastated, and even more so when I learned he had been cheating on me with someone 10 years younger than him. They now live together in Austin. In hindsight, it was for the best we broke up but I will never forgive him for how he broke up with me and for his dishonesty.
Human Rights Lawyer: My first tryst following my 5 year relationship. He was 30, Afro-Egyptian, handsome and an artist. He worked as a Human Rights Lawyer but I think his full-time job was being arrogant.
Braces: My first OK Cupid date. A male ballet dancer (I learned they are called “cavaliers”) studying education. He was nice and we had a four hour conversation over coffee but there was no attraction whatsoever.
Radio One: Another OKC date. Great sense of humor and an worthy opponent in wit. He worked for a public radio station and is a weird hipster-bro hybrid. I enjoyed texting and talking to him but it didn’t go anywhere after our date. We remain on friendly terms through Facebook.
The Nerdy Vegan: The Nerdy Vegan was a my first real crush following my break-up. We met through mutual friends and flirted mercilessly; he told my friends he was interested and we hung out a few times after that. Unfortunately he lived an hour away and was still scarred from his last long-distance relationship so frustratingly enough, nothing ever happened. We do remain friends.
Capoeira: Last spring I took a solo backpacking trip around Brazil. On one of my final nights in Salvador, I met Capoeria at the bar below my hostel. He was 38, Mexican-American, handsome like Johnny Depp, passionate and in Brazil studying mixed martial arts for a few weeks. We stayed up all night talking and watched the sun come up together on the balcony above the bar. While we did make out, it was how he made me feel attractive, interesting and confident that makes him so memorable. We remain friends through Facebook.
Click: Click was the first person I “dated” - and unfortunately, we met just a month before I was moving to Portland. Click was 26, a photographer, played guitar and sang impressively well in a band, and was just plain fun. He was also immature and a bit irresponsible (and so maybe it was a good thing our relationship had an expiration date). We hung out for a few weeks until I moved away and we remain on friendly terms.
Em.: I met Em. through OKC. We met up on my first night in Portland and, four months later, we continue to “hang out.” He’s not my boyfriend but there’s an acknowledged bond that is hard to explain. Em. is 28, European, works doing something with computers, is fanatical about bikes and photography, and makes me laugh harder than anyone. It was me that convinced him when we first started hanging out what it was better to just “hang out” than to properly date. And now that I may have stronger feelings for him, I’m kinda kicking myself for it. Update as of December 2011: Things are more serious but still unpredictable and unofficial. Update as of February 2012: Things are over. We ended things with good closure and the intent to remain friends… but then I discovered a week later he was seeing someone else and we are not in touch. Kinda heartbreaking.
Dartmouth: I met Dartmouth my first week in Portland. Dartmouth rowed crew at the Ivy League school and was tall, handsome and refreshingly mature … or so I thought. We went on five great dates and then I never heard from him, despite sending me a message saying he still wanted to see me. It was a big disappointment, as I thought we got along fairly well and our chemistry was electrifying. The situation with Dartmouth, however, taught me sometimes men bail and it has nothing to do with me but their own issues. Shrug. Update as of December 2011: I received an apology e-mail from Dartmouth for being so immature. Aw, that was nice.
The Climber: I met the Climber in October through OKC in Portland. We’ve been on a few dates and I still see him on occasion. He works as a neurology researcher, competes in cyclo-cross, rock climbs and is inquisitive about everything, a true academic. He is also unbelievably handsome; I suspect he knows it, too. As of November, I stopped reaching out to him, though I know if I ever needed some company he is a viable option.
Mix Tape: I met Mix Tape a few weeks after ending things with Em. We had great chemistry and a lot of shared interests (and he even made me a mix tape). He and I had a great first date but at the end I learned he was just looking to “hang out”. Sorry, been there, done that! I intend to stay friends with him, though. He’s pretty neat.
Gamechanger: The Gamechanger and I had a very intense first date back in March. Our chemistry was palpable. We had a great time and I thought he was gonna be a good one. We had a few weird text exchanges after our date before I left for Morocco and I never bothered to get in touch when I returned.
ABD: A sociology doctorate student who has yet to finish his dissertation (thus the moniker “all but dissertation”). I went on a few dates with him but there were so many yellow flags that I ended it.
D.: We started dating at the end of March. He is 29, a bartender, world traveler, and an incredibly kind, generous and intriguing man. Things got hot and heavy kind of fast; we are currently dating exclusively.
